I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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