also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
