Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
