I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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