There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
