I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
