My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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