hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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