he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
please come you make the beer taste better
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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