It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
