Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
