I bet he comes in French.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
