Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
