We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
