Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize