I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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