The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
