I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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