Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
