R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
