somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
