one two three fourrrrnication!
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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