Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
