I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
