I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
