Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
