Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
