She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Someone came in the potted fern
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I believe in your delicious
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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