mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
