no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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