Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My vagina just clenched in fear
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
