So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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