my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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