the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I've blown a few things in my day
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Randomize
