last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
