you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
