...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
