Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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