Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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