I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
