we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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