I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
