Taylor Swift is so right about you.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
