i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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