There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
