kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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