WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
