I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
