the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
