Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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