I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
